In this post I am going to get a bit serious and share with you my biggest road block in life. For me, it’s my issues with self esteem. I am not alone in this struggle though. I think it’s safe to say that the majority of women suffer from insecurities. Whether it’s about your physical appearance, social status, personal relationships or how you think you are perceived by people you don’t even know. I thought I could shed some light on what goes on in my brain and the way I try to overcome my issues. This way hopefully, I can help someone who’s struggling find a tool to cope and have better days ahead.
Day to day is pretty normal for me. I wake up, get ready, go to work and do errands. My issues arise when it’s time for an event or even something as simple as hanging out with friends. I have beautiful friends. Inside and out. They look effortlessly amazing in whatever they wear and how they carry themselves. I on the other hand feel lesser. I feel not as polished and uncomfortable in my clothes. I think people who see us out and about are wondering what the hell these beautiful women are doing going out with someone who looks like that.
And bless my husband who deals with my issues. He’s so patient and positive but he does get exasperated because of me. I hear “Are you kidding me? You’re beautiful!” often. Does it get through my thick skull? Not really. Sorry N.
Aside from the way I feel about my appearance, I also struggle with feeling like I’m not good enough. I feel guilty for the things I have. How did I deserve such an amazing, loving family? Supporting friends? And how the hell did I manage to land an amazing job? I feel like an imposter just waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under her. Like somewhere, someone will be like this wasn’t meant for you and I will lose everyone and everything I love. I also know how stupid this all sounds and I am so grateful that I have the support of those around me. I am privileged to have this. I know that because growing up I didn’t have it. I have lived out without having a strong family dynamic (no fault of my mom), like something was always missing. Dealing with things no child or teenager should ever have to deal with. Maybe that’s why I am so afraid I could lose it all? Because I know how lonely it is without.
These are the issues I am trying to overcome. How do I cope with the guilt feelings? I take a moment everyday to just be grateful for my family, friends and every life experience I’ve had that got me to where I am today. Because without the hardships, I would never truly be grateful for what I have today.
I practice self love and care for self esteem issues I think about the times I felt like I looked pretty or felt good and I do those things. Did I take some extra time doing my hair? Put on an outfit that actually fit and flattered me? I’m doing that. Did I make a super healthy dinner or go for a jog? Then you bet your ass I’m doing that too. Every day I make a conscious effort to do at least one thing that makes me feel positive about myself. I purposely avoid looking at/watching things that make me feel insecure until I’ve built myself again by repeating what’s written above. Have I overcome my self esteem issues? No, but I am making progress and working on myself and that’s something I can be proud of and feel good about.
And please don’t eyeroll here but isn’t self love the ultimate goal of self care?
So ladies (and gentlemen) what are some things you do to overcome self esteem issues? I’m all ears (or should I say eyes?)!