As a human being, I will never be able to wrap my head around turning your back on your own child. As a mother, the thought seems impossible. But as a child of a broken family I’m here to tell you it happens and sadly, often. The shame that comes along with a parent washing their hands of you is real.
Here is my story in a nutshell. Mom & Dad split. Dad enters new relationship. Visits slow. Dad has more kids and eventually visits come to a stop.
Growing up it bothered me. Alot. What was wrong with me? What did I do? Why wasn’t I worthy of his love? What did his new family have that I didn’t? These questions at a young age are the questions that can subliminally stay with you for the rest of your life and can move into your future relationships. But I’m only a victim if I choose to be. Right? I’ve had so many people telling me as I grew up that I turned out okay. What does that even mean? I was raised by my mom and I should be broken because of it? Should I feel ashamed? Hell no…I refuse to be defined by one man’s poor life decisions.
I used to feel sorry for myself but now I only feel sorry for him. He’s the one that missed out on watching me grow. He doesn’t know it, but I’m pretty friggin awesome. He also never got to hold his grandbaby when she was born. But he wasn’t worthy of that. Sadly, he will never be on the receiving end of her unconditional love. Because of that he will forever miss out on how crazy amazing she is! Again, that’s not my loss. It’s his. He is the one who ultimately has to live with his decisions.
So I would like to take the time to thank him. For my life. Because guess what? I’ve had a great one so far, regardless of him. I’d also like to thank him for allowing me to be raised by a wonderful mother, although she wasn’t perfect, she did her best. I turned out amazing thanks to her. But most of all, thank you for showing me how not to be as a parent and therefore making me the most incredible mother. Because of you, I chose a father for my daughter who will never do what you did. I will spend the rest of my days showing her how much she is loved. I will make her see her value from a young age and teach her that her worth is not dependent on what others choose to think or do. So thank you!
For anyone reading this that can relate one any level, just remember, it’s not you, it’s them. They are not worthy of your time or your heartache. Thank them for the life lesson they’ve taught you and move along.